Dear Mike Allen...

If your lede begins with "President Bill Clinton says…," you're writing the wrong story.

Love,

Upper Left

And Bill, how can we miss you if you won't go away?

Dear Manu Raju…

If your lede is "Sen. John McCain on Friday denounced…", you're writing the wrong story.

Love,

Upper Left

(P.S. - And since when is the ten minute mark of a ten minute speech "the middle"?

Only in the world where John McCain and Joe Lieberman are a "moderates," I suppose.

You know, the world of Politico.)