Tuesday, September 08, 2009

From the "Dan Pike for Governor" file.

Via Sam Taylor at the Bellingham Herald
September 4, 2009

Jon Stewart
c/o The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
733 11th Avenue
New York, NY 10019-5051

Dear Mr. Stewart and Daily Show Producers:

My name is Dan Pike, and I am the Mayor of Bellingham, Washington. I also went to Lawrence High School, Jon Stewart’s alma mater, a few years ahead of him (Class of 1975), though I never knew him and doubt he ever knew me.

I am writing because I am currently the Mayor of Bellingham, Washington, a community of about 80,000 between Vancouver, BC and Seattle, WA. The next city south of us on I-5, Mount Vernon (pop. 30,000), has just announced they are giving the keys to that city to Glenn Beck, a native son. The news got me to thinking that if they could give Beck a key simply for being born there, perhaps Bellingham could provide a key to Mr. Stewart for the better reasons of providing cogent yet comedic analysis of news events and personalities on a daily basis, as well as being an alumnus of the same high school as Bellingham’s Mayor. I was particularly moved and informed by the Daily Show’s recent analysis of the evolution of Glenn Beck’s feelings about the US healthcare system over the past couple of years.

We are bigger and better than Mount Vernon, and so are interested in a bigger, better star to receive our key. As an added bonus, should Mr. Stewart accept, we would try to track down Stephen, the eagle from the Colbert Report who frequently lives in our county, so Jon could have a personal sighting. If Mr. Colbert would like to receive a key to Bellingham, too, he is also welcome. If Mr. Stewart cannot come to Bellingham to accept, perhaps I could deliver it at some time in the months ahead, when I come to Lawrenceville to visit my mother.

While this is a joke of sorts, intended as a counterpoint to the Beck event in Mount Vernon, the offer is serious.

I may be contacted through my office at (360) 778-8100, on my cell phone at (redacted), or via email at dpike@cob.org.

Thanks for your consideration; keep up the great work!

Dan Pike,
Mayor
City of Bellingham, Washington
Dan Pike. 2012. You heard it here first.

And yes, Bellingham, home to the Brilliant and Beautiful Bride of Upper Left's alma mater, is better than Mount Vernon, but, hey, feint praise that.

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually Pike HAD the original key to Bellingham but already gave it to himself and his ego in a private ceremony while wearing only his Harvard ring and a smile.

Reportedly, there was a minty hint of viagra on his breath too.

I am hoping Jon Stewart gets to speak with him on the phone. I understand Stewart is conversant in JackAss.

6:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Forget the silly previous comment. This letter is wonderful. Funny, and intelligent, and a good idea. The fact that Mt Vernon is overlooking some of Glenn Beck's recent comments that should have him banned from society (aside from the fact that they should be ashamed that Beck is from their town in general) is awful. Even if a person like Beck's politics his recent comments are libelous and criminal. Thanks Mayor Pike for making them look silly and I hope Stewart comes!

5:34 AM  
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9:03 PM  

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