Headlines.

Army soldiers to see shorter war tours

Not short enough.

Not few enough, either.

Florida lawmakers pass "take your guns to work" law

Hmmm. I imagine an armed bartender could do pretty well, tips-wise...

Clinton, Obama skirmish over Iraq

Near as I can figure, she's mad because he hasn't stopped the war yet, even though he says he will. Of course, he didn't start it. Didn't even help.

A-Rod whiffs 4 times as Royals top Yanks

And they say I never report the good news.