Monday, October 18, 2004

Streak is shrill...

...but that doesn't mean he's wrong. He's also one of my favorite commentators on Bush's peculiar religiosity, and stuff like this is why.

The Beatitudes according to GWB:

Blessed are the Rich, because I like them.

Blessed are the Poor as well, because we are getting so many more of them. God must like poor people, and he will take care of them, so that the wealthy will not have to.

Blessed are the warmakers, because it is a scary world and you have to hit them before they hit you. Thus and verily so. Killing others is good! And we will not record how many of the others we kill, because that might cause bleeding hearts to care. Caring is bad.

Blessed are the polluters, because mercury in the water and fish will only harm the infants and pregnant women (family values).

Blessed are the torturers, because we must protect ourselves in a scary world.

Blessed are those who lie for their President's sake, for their ends shall justify their means. (and if the President can lie, why not his minions?)

Blessed is John Ashcroft, and his racist little heart, for white supremacy is a good goal, and civil liberties have always gone too far.

Blessed are the gay bashers, because they will always have an audience who is scared of others.

Blessed are those who profit, because profit is the highest form of human endeavor and should be valued over people and God's creation.

Blessed are those who proclaim their Christianity without living it out.

And finally, Bless America, and no one else.

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