It's Here! Way New™ brand sovereignty by Bushco®

Now with FUBAR™!

Yep, Paul Bremer, manager of Bushco's Baghdad dealership, worked overtime for an early delivery of this beauty, loaded with special features. Before sweeping out all the bothersome autonomy and collecting his commission on his way out of town, he packed the New Iraq® model with

Mandatory five year terms for his hand picked brand managers, including Prime Minister Ayad Allawi, the national security adviser and the national intelligence chief.

A shiny new inspector-general for every ministry, specially selected and endowed with a five year jurisdiction.

Bushco® brand commissions to regulate communications, public broadcasting and securities markets.

A 15 percent cap on tax rates.

An elections law that gives a seven-member commission the power to disqualify political parties and any of the candidates they support.

A ban on former members of the Iraqi army from holding public office for 18 months after their retirement or resignation.

A new law requiring banks to collect detailed personal information from customers seeking to make transactions greater than $3,500.

A campaign quota, requiring that one of every three candidates on a party's slate must be a woman.

And, proving that no detail is too small when it comes to fully implementing Way New™ brand sovereignty, there's even a spanking new traffic code, that insists that car horns can be used in "emergency conditions only" and requires a driver to "hold the steering wheel with both hands."

We're just scratching the surface of the options included, folks. Yep, all that's missing is the twenty billion bucks that got misplaced during delivery.

But that's just a small detail in a big product rollout like this. Bremer seems confident his customers will get years of reliable service from Way New™ sovereignty, saying that "You set up these things and they begin to develop a certain life and momentum on their own -- and it's harder to reverse course."

What a deal!